The Order of Chaos
Life is amazing to me. It is a journey through a world that often seems unpredictable. Yet, I have always felt that concealed within our seemingly random world lies a complex, orderly system; something that brings order to our chaotic lives. I believe that everything happens for a reason, especially when an event is unpleasant or surprising. I’m not sure why, but I never think this when something good happens. I suppose it is because we often do not notice when things seem to be going along as we want or expect.
If we look closely enough, we can see that everything and everyone on Earth is part of a complex system. System and order exist throughout the universe, even when what we see appears to be random and chaotic. The smallest leaf on the largest tree has the same pattern of growth as every other leaf on the tree and even the tree itself. Each leaf contributes to the whole of the tree; each tree contributes to the whole of the forest. Look at a meadow. Every blade of grass, every flower seems different. But if we look closely at the whole picture, we can see clear patterns created by these seemingly random pieces. All of nature consists of patterns that form detailed systems.
Yet to me, the world always seems chaotic and out of control. On the other hand, though, I realize that my life and the lives of those around me evolve in complex patterns that change through time. I have come to the conclusion that there is a delicate balance that exists between structure and order. Designs that seem random and chaotic in their makeup are actually produced through an underlying system.
While casually studying (and vaguely understanding) chaos theory, I became fascinated with the idea that a system of numbers could be represented artistically as visual output. I believe that order lies within chaos—a pre-existing system that makes sense and is predictable, perhaps even predetermined. Could I use this system to create a world that was ordered, but interesting, structured, but free? I imagined creating rules that could be followed, but broken when I chose. I wondered if these representations would be merely chaotic or if repeating patterns would be found underneath the surface. But how could I discover the patterns hidden within the chaos? In order to find these patterns, I needed rules, a system, order, and then I could discover what would follow.
It is exciting to make the drawings and 3-dimensional forms that I have developed through the use of self-created number systems. I never know what each image will look like until I finish it. This is part of the thrill of discovery for me. Although I simply follow, and occasionally break, the rules I lay out for the system, I strongly believe that these patterns already exist in their predetermined, often elusive form. They live in their own world. I simply pull them out and give them visual structure. Each time I create a new artwork, I feel as though the process and outcome is out of my hands. Each piece seems to grow on its own, while always being consistent with the system I create. What I have done is bring a physical shape to images that live within their own ordered universe; a universe that is almost invisible to us, but that always lurks beneath the surface of our lives.
March 2006